Thursday, February 6, 2014

Survival Guide: Tiny Little Ice Swords

I have a weakness for a long shower.
I have my entire life.
I blame it on being an Aquarius.  I'm a water baby for sure.

A nice hot steamy shower is my happy place.
Especially since becoming a mom, it is literally the only
alone time I get.

The hubs asks all the time what "I'm doing in there"….
Well the short answer is that I am enjoying my time and shaving my legs.

Technically is takes me about 32.5 minutes to:

1. wash my hair
2. apply conditioner
3. wash my body
4. shave my legs
5. wash my face
6. rinse

and that's moving at a pace that is relaxing and leisurely if you will.

So my very first shower in our new Colorado apartment went something like this…..

I got my water going, nice and hot, just the way I like it.
I then successfully completed steps 1 and 2 of my shower ritual.
Then came step 3, once I was completely lathered it hit me….
Thousands of tiny little ice swords.  Stabbing.  Burning.  Freezing.
My initial and only reaction was to scream.
Here I was 12 minutes into my shower and that was it….no more hot water.

Ice cold Florida water is so much warmer than ice cold Colorado water.  I mean it's single digits here people.  Ice swords I tell you.

I stood there covered in soap and conditioner, my heart racing, in full on panic mode.
I waited, shivering for a few minutes with the water off in the hopes that I could get that nice warm water back.  No such luck.
I fell to my hands and knees and rinsed myself off sponge bath style.

All I could think about after the freezing fucking fact was that I would never be able to shower again.

My second shower went something like this…
Skipped the hair washing (which I do all the time since I only deal with that mess about twice a week).
I went straight to washing and shaving.  I got one leg done and 1/3 of the way up the second, and then….
SWORDS!

Gah.

So now, here I am a week in.  My bathing schedule has taken a whole new turn.  12 minute increments broken down into a 3 day cycle moving at warp washing speed.  No more leisure, no more relaxing, strictly business, with the occasional bubble bath to shave both legs at the same time.
It's a bit ridiculous, but that's how this Florida girl is surviving Colorado showers.


1 comment:

  1. Oh wow! I can kinda feel your pain. I too enjoy a long hot shower which I could get at the other house. This new house's water heater is at least half the size as our old one. I run out of hot water about the same time you do, although it's not frozen Colorado water! Damn! I feel for you!

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