Tuesday, July 12, 2011

joys of parenting: dealing with bullies

i want to start this post off by saying that i need your advice. i know that a lot of my readers are parents and for those of you who are not, maybe you will have some great outside knowledge to share too.

the boy and i were at the park the other day. he had brought one of his race cars to play with. well a group of older boys, probably about 6-ish, saw that car and wanted it. and so the taunting began. the older boys took his car and proceeded to play with it. my boy chased them all over the playground, and you could tell he just really wanted to play with them. the whole situation turned into a giant game of "keep the car away from the little kid".

watching this all happen made me very anxious. i sat on the edge of the bench ready to pounce on the first one to lay a hand on my son. i was having an internal moral dilemma. "should i just jump in and put a stop to the whole thing and remove the boy and his car?" the boy didn't seem to mind that the older kids were playing with his car, he just wanted to be a part of the action. "do i let the boy figure it out on his own?" would this teach him the importance of problem solving. i kept having mental images of the boy as a teenager running to me to fight all his battles, and god knows that's not what i want to happen.

so what do you think? how would/do you deal with taunting and bullies? how do you walk the fine line of parenting and over-protecting? how do you create a son that knows how to stand up for himself without creating a bully of your own?


  1. Tough situation! I don't know what/ if I'd do anything, I'm just as much as a pushover as the girls are. I hate confrontation. But I do get all mama-bear when it comes to my kids, I might have to step in and say something.....

  2. it was tough. i did step in once and take the car. i told the older boys that i was going to hold it for him so he didn't loose it. but i kept telling myself to hold back.

  3. i can see not getting involved when they are older...but with how young he is i definitely say something...usually along the lines of telling them to all play nice and share...and then take the car out of the picture completely if it continues...plus if the other parents aren't watching their kids and are letting the bullying happen they are so in the wrong as well...i would never let my kid taunt others and take their toys!

  4. ..and i will straight up tell other kids when they are being rude...someone needs to tell them!

  5. thanks lu, that's great advice. the other kids were there with a camp...gotta love the summer time.

  6. i pull the telling kinds they are rude too. i have also been known to walk past the parents while saying to ash "it's not that little boys fault that he has no manners" just loud enough to make sure the mom hears.


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