after a few minutes of snuggling, starting the coffee, and letting the dog out i decided it was time to get that little monkey and start our day.
upon opening ash's bedroom door i was first taken aback by the giant mess that he made. there were toys, books, diapers, and wipes strewn about his room.
as i made my way into the giant mess it hit me like a brick in the face, a really stinky brick in the face. POOP!
now i am not talking about a little dirty diaper here. i am talking about the overwhelming smell of poop.
as i got further into his room he jumped out of bed to show me the cause of stink. let's start with his hands. my son was wearing poop mittens. there was poop under his nails, in between his fingers, and clear up to his wrists. in sheer panic i raced ash to the bathroom and quickly de-pooped his hands. i scrubbed them and then covered them in hand sanitizer. let me just interject here that i am not usually the squeamish one in the family when in comes to bodily excrement. but i was totally freaked out by this whole situation.
after sanitizing the child, he pointed out to me that there was a pile of poop hiding out next to his book shelf. now i don't pride myself of my detective skills, but i just can't wrap my head around how all of this happened!
i figured the pile of poop wasn't going anywhere, so i decided to tackle the source of the issue. ash's butt was next on the cleaning list.
by this point the dog and the hubs had joined us in the poop cave. all the commotion was drawing a crowd. but it was a much needed extra pair of hands. plus the hubs super sensitive gag reflex provided an extra source of entertainment. as if all the inappropriate poop jokes were not enough. as we started discussing the literal "shit everywhere", we found more. poop smears on the door, on the drum set, oh and check out the pile over there......where did it go?
yeah that's right the poop pile was gone. and so was the dog.
moral of the story. shit happens. and sometimes the dog looks guilty. gross.
needless to say, i spent the following hours avoiding the dog.